One of my greatest challenges is self-acceptance. The hurdle I face every morning is self-approval. The topic of many journal entry is being authentic and my true self.
I went on a date a few months ago, well maybe not a date... it was more like a "friends meeting for dinner thing" because the pressure of a date was entirely too much for me. After about 10 minutes, my friend actually gave me permission to be myself. Wow. Yeah. I ignored it at the time, but it stuck in my "craw," for lack of a better description. Just because I'm awkward doesn't mean that I'm not myself... it means that I AM myself and AM awkward when first spending time with someone in a social setting that I don't know very well. THAT IS ME. It always has been and I'm not sure I want to change that. If I make you uncomfortable because I'm awkward at first, then you're certainly not for me.
Honestly, self acceptance is
such a difficult hurdle for many women. We all get the constant message that unless we look like the
perfect models in magazines or on television, then we are somehow not good enough. We are constantly
inundated with media and advertising telling us to change our hair,
soften our hands, lose some weight, join a gym, clean our houses, make more money, wear these clothes, get this appliance/gadget/computer program.... I could go on, but I'm sure you, gentle reader, know exactly what I am referring to.
In the last several years, I've been reading the work of Byron Katie, Wayne Dyer, Christiane Northrup, Marianne Williamson, Dan Millman, the Zohar, and many other spiritual resources. Their primary message is one of love. Self-love, to be more accurate. Of course, we all should love our family, our friends, our neighbors, our colleagues at work, those we worship with or serve when we volunteer... But what about ourselves? Can we love wholly, truly, and completely without honestly loving ourselves? Without knowing how to love yourself, how can you expect anyone to love you? Without loving yourself, will you tolerate someone loving you less or not loving you but trying to control you? Do you need to love yourself to approve of yourself? Are they mutually exclusive?
Here's my note for myself...