Today's thoughtful quote

By way of Mastin Kipp and the Daily Love:  

"The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same."

  - Carlos Castaneda 

So what if you're right?

Often it doesn't matter if we are right, wrong, left... it just doesn't matter. I know many people who are "right fighters" and they will duke it out with you no matter what the issue. It's as if they feel threatened by the fact that you think differently than they do. The only time it ever matters on being right is... well when you have to pass your driver's test or maybe during finals week. But even then, does it really matter that much? 

I suppose one could argue that if you're a doctor and you make a mistake, then someone could die or be permanently injured. True, but that's not what I mean. I am writing about if someone has a different opinion or a different way of thinking than I do. I welcome constructive criticism, but if you just want to argue with me about which view of God is right, which religion is right, or which heaven I will go to... well enjoy yourself, because I have already checked out. Even if it's not about religion, if you feel the need to be right about every bloody thing, well you're going to be alone and right. 

It often doesn't matter when you're right. My friend has a terribly painful situation where her exhusband is not really participating in the parenting of their only daughter. He fights her constantly and lies about all sorts of situations. My friend was at her wit's end. It breaks her heart, not that he is lying but that his lies will eventually impact their daughter. I tell her repeatedly, being right is moot. He will not change because he doesn't believe he is wrong. He is convinced that his choices are fine, that nothing he is doing will influence their daughter, and, even more importantly, that in no uncertain terms he should never be questioned. In this situation, you can do nothing but cope. You can try to reason, cajole, convince, but really, that guy is never going to see reason unless it's his idea. 

You have a couple of choices here. 1. Fight, argue, reason. 2. Get pissed off. 3. Recognize it for what it is, move on. The only outcome of number 1 is inevitably number 2. If you choose number 3, then you can move on quickly, get back to living in the moment and being you. But expending energy on the first two options, well, how's that working for you? I'd rather be happy. 

Let go of something you feel righteous about and see if you don't feel some relief.

My own advice...

A friend of mine told me that after reading my blog, he thought I should take my own advice. Sometimes we can't see that our own wisdom can solve our problems, we seek and scratch our heads, trying to complicate our situation... and forgetting that we already know the answer. We already have the solution sitting right in front of us. Either we choose to overlook it because it just seems ... well, too easy maybe or maybe it's too hard, or maybe it makes you too vulnerable. Or maybe it's because we just don't trust our own intuition.

The last few weeks have been an exercise in following my feelings instead of listening to the almighty brain. Your heart knows, your spirit is wise, too, don't discount what they're telling you.