A cork on the ocean...

• FML?
• I ended up...
• I hate my life!!!
• Shoot me! 
• My life is so awful!
• Why does this always happen to me? 

I am surrounded by people who routinely use these sorts of statements. Sometimes it's a joke, others, I'm not so sure. Here's something to think about, though.We can't control WHAT happens in our life, but we CAN control what we do about it, how we react, the self talk we use and the attitude we have.

It's one thing to rant and get it over with but if your general attitude is that your life sucks, it will never get any better. I say that with all the conviction I have in my soul. Your life will never improve if you continue to say that your life sucks. 


If you have a crappy attitude, and believe that no one is suffering more than you are, why would your life suddenly turn great? Does your life have a mind of its own? Who's the one with the mind here anyway? Are you kidding me that you just ended up that way? You just wound up over there in the ditch like there was some sort of cosmic pool table that you're in the middle of?


It's time for some tough love here.... get over yourself. Stop being a victim. 

I can say that to you because I used to be one of those people. I was addicted to my shitty life. I was addicted to wallowing in the self-pity. I was mired in the sucking mud of victimhood.


Abuse, loss, unrequited love, addiction, illness, false accusations, death of a spouse, children, loved ones... the list could go on. There are people who have suffered through all of the things in this list, plus more. There are people in the world who have endured atrocities that make my soul weep.


Yet, many of the people I know who have suffered more than their share of grief, have the most positive outlook. It makes me feel such shame for EVER believing that my life was so terrible. 


Some say that they have faith or religion and that helped them through their experience. Some say it's just the love they have for their family. Others just have this indomitable glowing spirit and every word they utter is filled with love.


In my own experience, it's about gratitude and mindfulness.


I'm often asked, "How can you be grateful if you feel you have nothing?" Let me be blunt: Everyone has something. You have a mind. You can read. You're reading this, aren't you? You're able to reason, to think, to form an opinion. You must have someone in your life who loves you, right? A mother, father, uncle, sister, neighbor, friend? The garbage man? The clerk at the gas station? The librarian? Someone! 

How can you be grateful if you are struggling? In struggle and adversity, there is light. There is learning and opportunity in every difficult experience. It may not feel that way when you're actually in it, but it's there. Every mistake, every negative experience is simply an opportunity waiting for you to recognize it. 
 Turn your negative crap into positive talk....

Instead of FML, say, "I'm frustrated! But life will work itself all out."

Instead of, "I ended up," use the phrase, "As a result of a youthful indiscretion, I became pregnant or I lost my job..." 

The fact is you didn't END UP anywhere. That implies you are a cork floating on the stormy seas and you're just bobbed around like you have no control over anything. The reality is, whether you like it or not, your situation today is the direct result of choices you made previously. Choice is very powerful. You may have chosen to get in the car with a drunk driver.... and that driver was impaired so he was involved in an accident that cost you your comfort and mobility. You didn't "end up" in this situation. You chose to take a chance and as a direct result of a deliberate choice, you are now in a body cast in the hospital.

Negative talk can make anything in your life seem worse than it truly is.



You can either continue to live your life like a cork on the ocean, bobbed around by the circumstance of existence or you can decide to become a clipper ship, redirect your life, and weather that storm. 


Do you believe that what you put out is what you receive? Would you tolerate hearing this from your children? No? Then why would you ever say this?


And is this really a matter for a spiritual blog? Absolutely... it is my belief that we are all spiritual beings having a human experience. Every person, every human has free will (unless you are severely impaired in some way). We are hard wired with a brain to make decisions and choices. You didn't just fall into your life. You chose it. It might not have been a very informed choice or it may have been imposed upon you when you were young, but when you became an adult you chose to continue in that existence. Choice. Deliberation. Free will. Why would this be separate from spirituality? 

Peace, Love, and Free will....